Friday, September 05, 2008

Who's the Real Original Maverick?

The original maverick. A true, down-home, real-American, honest-to-goodness, baby spankin’, calf wranglin’, Iran bombin’, Chardonnay spittin’, intellectual smashin’ maverick.

Yup. That’s me. Who did you think I was talking about?

Apparently, some wanna-be cowboy is trying to steal my trademark “Original Maverick” title. That poseur, my friends, is named John McCain.

Well, I’m here to set the record straight. I’m the original internet bloggin’ maverick. At least around these parts I am. And by “these parts” I mean my apartment - or at least the corner of my apartment where my computer resides.

A dictionary defines the word “maverick” as follows:

Mav-e-rick – noun

1. an unbranded calf, cow or steer

2. a lone dissenter, as an artist or politician who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates.

3. The Mill

I fit into at least 2 of the 3 definitions above.

Additionally, as a true, original internet maverick:

- I don’t play by the rules.

- I don’t spell chekk. Nor_ do I check! My ^ punctu@tion;

- I click on my own ads, thereby sticking it to the man (aka Google), and inadvertently sticking it to the advertisers. Sorry guys!!

- I write what I want, when I feel like it. And when Jaimi says it’s okay.

- I don’t give no damn about nobody, no how, nowhere, no time.

- Goddamnit.

- I interpret the Constitution any way I goddamn feel. My Constitution has 29 Amendments - 2 more than the non-maverick Constitution. The 28th Amendment grants me the authority to walk around outside in my underwear (classic maverick behavior). And the 29th Amendment prohibits the federal government and states from infringing upon my right to eat cookies in bed.

Clearly, John McCain, who’s the real maverick now?

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mill's been a maverick since Reagan was in office. He's well known for going against the grain and working across the aisle.

And then there was the time he saved a litter of kittens from a storm drain, using nothing but a pair of barbecue tongs.

A true American hero AND a maverick.