Sunday, October 01, 2006

I am Invincible

Just got back from seeing the movie 'Invincible', starring Mark Wahlberg as a 30 year-old part time bartender from South Philly, Vincent Papale. It's based on Vince's true-to-life story. And it's probably the best Philadelphia Eagles movie ever made. Top 5, for sure. Vince tries out for the Eagles in 1976, and makes the team as a wide receiver. He's probably not much bigger than me. And we're the same age. So it got me to thinking: I HEREBY DECLARE MYSELF ELIGIBLE FOR THE 2007 NFL DRAFT. A 6'0", 175 lb. all-purpose player out of the University of Pennsylvania (Graduate School of Chemistry). Here are some more of my stats: 1) can do 25 pushups without resting; 2) can run one mile without resting; 3) not afraid of twisting an ankle; 4) excellent strategist; 5) National Merit Finalist; 6) 4.3 second 40-yard dash time; 7) bench presses 225 lbs 65 times in a row; 8) can toss a Volkswagen 25 yards in the air; 9) does not need oxygen to survive; 10) impervious to fire and acid.

I expect to be picked up in one of the later rounds. I will be representing myself in all contract negotiations.