Monday, June 30, 2008

Fantasy Baseball Hopes And Dreams

We all live a quarter of our lives in Dreamland.

There, we meet our heroes, our arch-enemies, our deceased pets, childhood friends, and sexy ladies with the heads of aliens from Star Trek.

Countless books have been penned to aid in analyzing our dreams. Dream theories abound - from the fields of psychiatry, neurobiology, Scientology, and crazy-ass-ology, among others.

Through all of this, it seems that one thread of truth weaves it way through all of our dreams. That being, if it’s important enough to be on your mind during the day, there’s a damn good chance you’ll be dreaming about it at night.

You study all week for a tough exam. You’re nervous as hell - the recurring dream being you show up late and miss the test.

Or, you’re nervous about getting fired because you’re in the shithouse with your boss. So you dream of being trapped in a latrine with your boss.

Sometimes our dreams really do mimic life.

But in my case - my own totally baffling and completely anomalous case – I never ever dream about fantasy baseball.

How is this possible?

When you expend over 80% of your brain’s processing power analyzing pros and cons of roster moves and potential trades, for days and weeks on end – basically the entire baseball season – how do you not dream about it?

If I don’t dream about trading my father for Manny Ramirez, and marrying my mother off to Alex Rodriguez (for some sweet Yankees tickets), then how can I analyze my deepest Freudian feelings?

It’s frustrating, really. But perhaps my subconscious is trying to tell me something. Something like, “You know Mill, you’re a real jackass for thinking about fantasy baseball every waking hour. I just don’t have time for it. You’ll be dreaming about an improved design for the hydrogen fuel cell tonight! We gotta kick our oil habit!!!”

Twenty bucks says I dream about fantasy baseball tonight.

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Dennis said...

We need to get Mill a new hobby methinks.

Hopefully a new change of scenery in the office will let you dream of something else?

The Mill said...

Yes, new hobby needed. Perhaps I will take up writing.

JG said...

maybe your new hobby should be cleaning the apartment.

The Mill said...


Cleaning the apartment!! That's hilarious!!!!