Monday, April 20, 2009

A Couple Quick Things That Annoy Me to No End - Volume 1

This really could be part of a series (thus the "volume 1" label), but I don't want to become one of those ranting bloggers who moves to a cabin in Montana, starts a cult, stockpiles ammo, and waits for the ATF to storm the compound while camera crews scuffle to get the best angle on the action.

To that end, I believe my enemies shall take careful note of this post, and may use it against me in the future. For everyone else, this is just a heads-up. To any and all federal agencies reading this - I know where you're headquartered - Washington D.C......And it's a lovely town. Really. Can't get enough of that National Mall area.

Anyway, the top item on my nascent list of things that I find annoying is when people say, "I could care less."

Oh really? You could? Then why are you complaining to me? The correct saying is, "I COULDN'T care less." See, if you say you could not care less, then you're actually making a meaningful statement. Otherwise, you might as well say something totally mundane like, "My heart continues to beat as I stand here," or "I like rice," or "Those shoes are cute."

Get it? I certainly hope so.

The second item on my list really is the #2 most annoying thing I encounter during my daily rounds on this planet.

There's a TV show on the Travel Channel. It's called "Bizarre Foods" and stars a chef/personality named Andrew Zimmern. Mr. Zimmern travels around the world, visiting exotic regions, and sampling the local cuisine. He says his name at the beginning of every show. "ZIM-MERN." And he probably says it at the end of every show, and somewhere in the middle of the show as well. Also, during each commercial break, the show's logo appears, in which his name is spelled.

This gentleman's name is NOT Andrew Zimmerman!!! Please stop calling him that. Zimmern is not any harder to say than Zimmerman.

Remember, the Zimmerman Telegram is what brought the USA into World War I. Zimmern is that bald guy who eats bugs, cow faces, and entrails on his TV show, "Bizarre Foods." There's a big difference. Please don't forget it. Its the difference between Roberts and Robertson. Or Lipschitz and Lipcrapz. Let's just get this one right, and move on with our lives.

Anyway, if you say Zimmerman instead of Zimmern, rest assured that you're not the only one. But this has got to stop. It's an outrage.

In this case, I COULD care less. I could care a whole hell of a lot less, because this is, inexplicably, rather important to me.

Thank you for your attention to these matters.

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JG said...

holy shit i thought it was andrew zimmer, not zimmerN.

The Mill said...

Yeah, you too. It's ZIMMERN. Get used to it! Come on! This man is a human being just like you and me! No matter how unusually his name is spelled.

Anonymous said...

This one was a hoot! I was one of the dodos who thought his name was Zimmerman-altho I never have watched the show.

The Mill said...

Hey Anonymous, no need to beat yourself up over the Zimmerman/Zimmern confusion. You're not the first, and unfortunately for me, you won't be the last!