Tuesday, June 16, 2009

An Ode to GM's Longstanding Suckiness

(I'm thinking about setting this to music - a dirge on the demise of General Motors, and its final chapter - Chapter 11.)

O, master of industry, we thought you'd live forever.
But your management and design teams were not very clever.
It's a sad time for all of us, dear General Motors.
From your huge, flaccid corpse emanates terrible odors.

You once held such power across our great nation.
From Corvettes and Buicks, came true elation.
Cadillac was a brand with top-notch reputation.
A Chevy big-block V-8 was a marvel of creation.

Before long things soured, as often they do.
The Hondas, Toyotas, and Nissans came too.
They offered good value, and rarely broke down.
While your cars lay disabled all across town.

They guzzled gas to no end, and belched toxic emissions.
Inhaling this crap led to chronic conditions.
Our lungs and our kidneys and our pancreas too.
We hacked up black mucus, our feet swelled in our shoes.

But still, you drove on, full steam ahead.
With nary an inkling of how you had led.
And how you had lost, and how you had lied.
Japanese and German, from your grasp we were pried.

Now you're but a shell of former greatness.
Auto workers all over feel serious hate-ness,
Towards you, who drove the auto industry to shame.
As you scramble around and attempt to lay blame.

Oldsmobile was classy, but now pushing up flowers.
Only driven in Florida, at 20 miles per hour.
Pontiac built excitement, received many industry mentions.
Now I think all they build are lawnmower engines.

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