Tuesday, July 07, 2009

The Bachelor Party – Phase One Planning

As I hurtle unabated towards the end of bachelorhood, it’s high time I started to think about what I want to do for my bachelor party - even though the wedding isn’t until January 2010. Probably the worst idea in the history of all mankind is to wait until the day before the wedding to have a bachelor party – worse than Napoleon marching his army into Russia at the onset of winter.

First off, I don’t really know what I want to do for the party. There, at least I got that out of the way. So any suggestions are welcome. Secondly, I’m not really supposed to have any girly stuff going on, because Jaimi finds naked ladies distasteful, or something like that. Or maybe it’s me who finds them distasteful. Wait, no. It’s probably Jaimi.

So, no visits to strip clubs or topless beaches.

What else is there?

Well, I like beer quite a bit. So that could certainly play some sort of role.

Beer, you are hereby invited to my bachelor party. You may bring your friends Gin, Vodka, and Pepto Bismol.

I also like watching sports of all sorts. And I like to rhyme some of the time. So perhaps we could go to a ballgame and follow it up with a freestyle rap competition amongst the partygoers.

What’s on the docket so far? We have a sporting event, a freestyle rap session, and beer and alcohol. Won’t we also need food to eat?

Yes, we will need food to survive this event. The question is, what kind of food is the best for a bachelor party? Steakhouse is so cliché. Mexican is too spicy for some. T.G.I. Friday’s is disgusting and depressing. Japanese is good because the fancy pants can get sushi, and everyone else can get deep fried stuff, or meat. That should please all attendees.

So, Japanese restaurant, sports, rhyme time, drinking.

Then maybe a little gun shooting, and wrap it all up with some gum chewing, tea drinking, and knitting. Or maybe needlepoint? Some other kind of arts and crafts? I don’t know.

You can tell I’m new at all of this.

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