Thursday, May 28, 2009

Cleaning Up Ahead of the Cleaning Lady

Perhaps you do this as well. You spend a good chunk of time cleaning your house or apartment before the cleaning lady gets there. It’s as if we don’t want her to know that we’re actually pretty big slobs.

Isn’t that why we went out and got a cleaning lady in the first place? The fact that we’re big, fucking slobs?

Wouldn’t the cleaning lady accept us for this – accept us despite our flaws? Isn’t it true that cleaning ladies are full of forgiveness, along with that special desire to make the sink sparkle? And won’t she still love the money we pay her, just as much as she would if we weren’t such slobs?

I guess we just want to be liked by everyone. That’s why I spent 45 minutes last night picking up shoes, washing dishes, taking out the trash, and placing all the unopened mail in neat little piles on the counter.

I’m sure, when the cleaning lady arrives this morning, she’ll think “Wow, nice piles of unopened mail. I like Jaimi and Scott.”

And that’s very important to us.

Furthermore, it seems to me that the best cleaning ladies are the ones that elicit the strongest desire to pre-clean. This way, they can really focus on those tough cleaning tasks – like cleaning the sofa by taking a nap on it, or cleaning the fridge by eating your leftover crab legs.

And because of your thorough pre-clean, the cleaning lady will still have plenty of time to dust the bathtub with a wave of her hand, and scrub the toilet bowl with her gaze.

By the time you get home, she'll be long gone, and the place will be spotless - just the way you left it.

Subscribe to my sweet feed