Thursday, March 12, 2009

Octo-Mom and Nona-Dad

Nadya Suleman and Travis Henry: Octo-Mom and Nona-Dad.

17 total children. Two biological fathers. Ten biological mothers. Mountains and mountains of child support.

Taken together, they are the most fruitful loins on earth – more fertile than the Nile basin. And just as Alaskan rivers and tributaries teem with wild salmon during the great spawn each year, so too do Ms. Suleman’s and Mr. Henry’s offspring populate the planet.

And to think, they’ve got plenty of fertile years yet ahead of them.

What is the best way to spread your DNA around the world? Do you go for the most bang for your buck - in vitro fertilization? Or do you take the old-fashioned route - have unprotected sex with as many women as possible?

With IVF, at least, the children will have automatic playmates for years to come. The siblings may be able to field an entire little league baseball team, or hold every major office in high school student government.

Using Mr. Henry's tried and true method, the siblings probably won't ever meet one another. Plus, I'd imagine it takes a tremendous amount of time, money, and energy to meet the women at the club, buy them 5-10 drinks, stumble into the back of your truck and make a baby. Way too much trouble.

So my vote for having the most kids possible with the least amount of effort - which is really all anyone tries to do on a day to day basis - is definitely IVF.

Save yourself some time. Save the women around you a bunch of pregnancies. Choose to have a whole mess of kids all at once.

Go in vitro! Then run Travis, run!!

Let's get these two together for some SERIOUS babymaking.

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