Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Earth Day - Did You Miss It?

Yesterday was Earth Day.....I think.

My estimate is that half the population didn't remember. Again.

Instead, we're too busy watching baseball, or the stock market, or Lindsay Lohan stumbling out of a nightclub.

It's a shame, really. Because the Earth is a pretty important thing - in my humble opinion. It's time to give the Earth some props. It's a pretty great place in a lot of ways.

I mean, we live here, we go to parties here, and we play with dogs here.

We can buy and drink beer here, eat bacon here, and watch "The Daily Show" here.

Where else can we do all of this stuff, and still be able to bet on a horse race down at the OTB?

The answer? Probably nowhere else. Earth is da bomb.

We've got water to swim in, mountains to climb, deserts through which to drive dune buggies, and abandoned warehouses in which to throw raves.

We can skateboard along our roads, or get Skip Barber to teach us how to race a Porsche down those same asphalt thoroughfares.

Can't do any of that shit on Mars, Jupiter or Venus. That's for sure.

So maybe, on this day-after-Earth-Day, we should all take a moment and give thanks to Mother Earth for letting us do pretty much whatever we want on her. And also for being such a totally sweet place to film another Jackie Chan movie. Or for having a strong enough gravitational field to keep all of our Xbox 360's from floating out into space. Otherwise, how could we play Grand Theft Auto 4 while smoking a cigar and eating a slice of cold pizza, in our underwear?

Once again, the answer? Nowhere else but Earth.

So TODAY, turn off that faucet while you're brushing your teeth. Keep your carbon dioxide emissions to a minimum. Refrain from releasing heavy metals (lead, cadmium, uranium, etc.) into the groundwater. And carpool or take mass transit to work. It's the least we can do to give back to our totally awesome home - The Earth.

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