Sunday, October 14, 2007

This Is Crazy

Again, I'm not able to explain how I came across this website. Just don't worry about it, okay? But please check it out: Crazy Link

The first thing you'll see when you visit the website is: "Thank you for your interest in patented Neuticles and the revolutionary testicular implant procedure for pets."

This fuzzy guy would just as soon use Neuticles for chew toys as have them replace his real testicles after being neutered. Right little buddy?!??!

Huh? Why would my pet want that? And perhaps more importantly, why would I want that for my pet? After all, it's not really my pet's decision. I mean, I'm the one paying for any sort of cosmetic surgery for my pet. That's something me and my pet agreed upon long ago. He pays for cable, rent, and phone, and I pay for cosmetic surgery and food. That's the deal. So it's not up to him. If he wants to pay for unlimited long distance, I've got no problem with that. But if I want to pay for his tummy tuck or tail lengthening, then he'll just need to take it lying down.

But seriously, I spent a good 3-5 minutes trying to figure out whether this site was for real. I've concluded that it is, although I'm still only 97% sure. They even have price lists and diagrams for veterinarians. There are different sizes and textures available, for a natural look and feel. Not kidding.

My Neuticles look ridiculous. I think they gave me the ones made for a Doberman. I'm mortified. All my friends point and laugh.

I love dogs, but I could never imagine that they would give a shit if you gave them fake testicles or not. So why do it? For your own satisfaction? That sounds like it could be rather socially unacceptable. Most likely, it's just to make the owners feel a little less bad about neutering their pets. But one of the most wonderful things about pets (dogs, in particular) is that they don't hold grudges. You could have pretty much any kind of surgical procedure done to them, and they would still love you after it was all over. This is one of the many reasons we love our pets, and would do almost anything for them (also see my post from June re: dogs).

We really don't mind if you have us neutered. We'll love you no matter what. Just keep feeding us. Thanks.

I don't know. It's crazy - but at the same time, if it doesn't hurt the animals and it makes the owners feel harm no foul. Perhaps this post was just an excuse to put up some pics of cute puppies.

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