11:15pm: Shit. Mariano Rivera is coming in to the game. I believe that if we, as a species, put a man on the moon, then we can also will the Phillies to score some runs against Rivera. It's a long shot, but no longer than the odds of winning Powerball.
11:17pm: I am afraid. I am very afraid. Rivera looks good, with that silky-smooth delivery and wicked cut fastball. The man can flat out pitch, and the Phillies are quickly running out of at-bats. I will quickly fashion a Mariano Rivera voodoo doll and see if it does anything. We'll know soon enough.
Showing posts with label live blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label live blogging. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Live Blogging 2009 World Series Game 6 - Phillies are (Probably) Toast
Live Blogging 2009 World Series Game 6 cont'd. - Matsui is the Phillies Daddy
10:02pm: My Matsui voodoo doll has had both arms amputated, and has safety pins jammed into where the real Matsui's eyes would be. And yet, he still smoked a 2-run double for his 5th and 6th RBI's of the night. I'm beginning to think that voodoo is bullshit.
10:10pm: Well, finally something good happened for the Phils. Ryan Howard's bat awoke with a mighty, muscly mash to left field. It barely cleared the fence, but a home run is a home run, as I always say. Phillies now trail 7-3. Anything's possible. This one is far from over. Although I would kinda like to go to bed soon. I'm getting sleepy.
Live Blogging the 2009 World Series - Game 6 - Phils Face Elimination
9:05pm: Pedro looks like shit. I'm very angry. He's given up 4 runs so far, and he's throwing like Betty White - i.e., an 85 mph fastball. Ms. White throws hard for her age.
9:10pm: Phillies get out of the inning after only giving up those 2 runs. Matsui is his new nemesis. I'm preparing a Hideki Matsui voodoo doll with my right hand as I type with my left hand.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
2008 World Series Game 1 Live Blogging Continued
9:42PM - So what if the Dow was DOWN over 500 points today. The Phillies are UP by 3 runs!! In my book, that makes up for the millions upon millions of dollars of disappearing wealth.
9:45PM - I'm hungry.
9:52PM - Cole Hamels, the Phillies starter for this game, looks like a real veteran.
9:53PM - He just gave up a solo home run. No joke. As I was writing that last entry, Carl Crawford hit a home run off of Hamels. I have to be careful with this live blogging. It's some powerful shit.
9:55PM - Phillies are out of the inning after giving up only one run. I wonder what the weather's going to be like tomorrow. Should I wear a sweater? In case you hadn't noticed, my live blogging has no internal filter. It's like a window into my mind. Grab some popcorn, pull up a chair, and enjoy - if you dare. Boy, my fingernails are long.
9:58PM - Fingernails are short now.
10:02PM - I feel like Ryan Howard should hit a home run right about now. He is such a big, strong man. The ball is afraid of him.
10:05PM - Ryan Howard walked. They say a walk is as good as a home run - or something like that.
10:06PM - Pat Burrell is up to bat. Big Pat. Pat the Bat. My Mom thinks he's, arguably, the cutest Phillie. I'm can't disagree with her right now. And if he hits a home run now, I will officially label him the cutest Philadelphia Phillies player ever. I believe strongly - and this will be the first place you'll hear this - that the Phillies' success in the World Series rests on Pat Burrell's mighty shoulders. As Pat goes, so go the Phillies. Mark my words.
10:09PM - Pat Burrell did not hit a home run. But somehow, some way he just got the first infield hit of his career.
10:10PM - Not an infield hit for Pat. It was ruled an error. Pat is as slow as molasses, and never beats out a groundball. Jury's still out on Pat Burrell's cuteness.
10:12PM - I can't stop eating these gummy worms.
10:16PM - It may be dangerous for me to continue eating these gummy worms. They're not even fresh.
10:18PM - I think Swedish fish are my favorite, but have you ever had gummy peaches? They're pretty good too.
10:19PM - Okay, game back on. No more candy until the Phillies score again. Or until one of the players adjusts their crotch, or spits on the ground.
10:19PM - 5 seconds elapsed before spitting or crotch grabbing occurred.
10:22PM - No more gummy worms left. They are all in me.
2008 World Series Game 1 - Pre-Game Live Blogging
8:20PM - Phillies manager Charlie Manuel is awfully fat and old looking. I'm worried he's going to hurt himself while jogging out from the dugout during team introductions.
8:21PM - I'm holding my breath. Run Charlie, run! Only 75 feet or so to go.
8:26PM - Charlie made it out to the infield safely. I can breathe easily.
8:28PM - Holy shit!!!!! Backstreet Boys singing the National Anthem. I thought those guys were dead!!
8:30PM - This is a pretty weird rendition. Harmony is good, voices are smooth and silky. But the rhythm is all off. These guys must be Communists. Like Barack Obama.
8:32PM - Game's about to start. The Phillies better win or I'm going to write something terrible about the Tampa Bay Rays' wives and mothers.
8:34PM - I need to do laundry tomorrow. Just thought I'd write it down before I forget.
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