Friday, December 05, 2008

Hillary Clinton - Secretary of Fun

(From time to time, I like to dabble in poetry. Most of it's ridiculous, but all of it rhymes - which is pretty much the only thing that matters when it comes to poetry, in this poet's opinion. This week, Hillary Clinton is my muse. Last time, it was Sarah Palin. And next time? Probably something to do with fantasy football.)

Photo: AOL News

Hillary, Dillary, Dickery, Dock.
Your husband Bill can't control his....

Wait a minute. Too crude. Let me start that one over.

Here we go:

Hillary Clinton, Obama's new friend.
You'll stick by his side till the bitter end.
But you dream of two-thousand twelve while in bed.
Visions of Presidency still dance in your head.

Barry just named you Secretary of State,
While Bubba Bill was out on a date.
His penis has a mind of its own.
Foreign policy skills, you now must hone.

You'll move to Washington with belongings in tow.
Seeds of worldwide diplomacy you will soon sow.
And as Sean Penn plays the famous Harvey Milk.
You too must portray one of a respectable ilk.

I'm not saying to be the first gay Secretary of State.
But rather to emulate and copy some of the greats.
Like Tommy Jefferson or the first one, John Jay.
And William Henry Steward, or John Milton Hay.

There's Hamilton Fish, who had a funny name.
Or Philander Chase Knox - that first name is a shame.
And many, many others who I may or may not list.
Hill, do you remember the first boy you kissed?

It probably wasn't Bill cause he wasn't no prince.
In high school I could see you with a Chuck or a Vince.
Go back to that time, when you were young and so free.
And enter this new job with the same sense of glee.

Don't forget to emulate Daniel Webster or John Calhoun.
And also find out if we really put a man on the moon.
Conspiracy theorists are making me wonder.
If Armstrong's first steps were false, it will tear my world asunder.

I guess that's my problem, and really not yours.
Maybe I'll see you while on one of those White House tours.
Where's your new office? West Wing or South?
And if you see Dick Cheney, please punch him in the mouth.

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carole said...

did you know hamilton fish and chase knox? or did you wikipedia that?
i porbably would have preferred the original poem, but that one will do.

The Mill said...

Wikipedia is like soap for me.

I use it every few days.