Friday, December 12, 2008

Auto Bailout a No-Go - Everyone Must Buy a Buick Immediately!!

Folks, it's the only way. A Buick for every man, woman, and child in the USA. That was GM's original goal anyway. Let's make it a reality.

You see, if the government won't bailout GM, Chrysler, or Ford, then we'll have to do it ourselves. Although Ford still claims that they only require access to billions of taxpayer dollars, GM and Chrysler actually need the money like the French need wine - really, really badly.

Yeah, sure Ford, whatever you say. If it smells like bullshit, and it tastes like bullshit, and it looks like bullshit, well then it was probably delivered to your place in a Ford F-150. In other words, Ford is most likely in terrible shape as well.

So take your pick - Buick, Chevy, Dodge, Ford. Buy as many vehicles as you can. And with gas down to $1.50/gallon (at least in New Jersey) we can once again afford to drive SUV's. The Cadillac Escalade is a good choice if you'd really like to help GM. It's massive, massively expensive, and massively profitable for the manufacturer.

GM's most aggressive incentive programs include factory-to-dealer rebates, low financing, and a 25 year-old blonde woman with every Escalade. (Certain restrictions apply. Blonde offer only available in TX, FL, AL, SC, GA, MS, NC, and TN. Not available to creepy, old, rich guys who just want the girl, and don't really want the truck.)

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