Sunday, December 21, 2008

Dear Santa - I Want a Free Photography Session

(Ever since our recent engagement, Jaimi's been scouring wedding websites and blogs for free stuff. She came across a contest on Always a Blogsmaid, the prize being a $750 gift certificate for a local photographer - Joseph Pessar. I guess he'd be taking pictures of us looking cute together, or something like that.

Anyway, the challenge involved writing something heartwarming or funny - or both - while offering reasons why you should be awarded the free photo session. Also, it had to be in the form of a letter to Santa.

Suffice it to say, I whipped up a quick poem and won the contest. Here is the winning entry in its entirety. I wanted to use many more curse words, but didn't know if that would help or hurt our cause. So I played it pretty safe. Sorry for that.

Dear Santa,

Greetings to you. We’re Jaimi and Scott.
We just got engaged! Damn, that ring looks hot.
We met through a friend, it was love from the start.
We admit it, we’re Jews, but you must have a heart.

And besides, we’re all humans on this great blue orb.
Your vast loving-kindness will surely absorb.
Jewish or Muslim, Christian or Buddhist.
We’re glad Mario Batali was never a nudist.

What’s that have to do with this letter, you ask?
Not sure – but rhyming’s a difficult task.
We do want something small in return.
To brighten your day, and ease your heartburn.

We have a special request to make.
And we don’t want this to sound very fake.
We’d love some photos of ourselves.
Say “hi!” to all your adorable elves.

As you travel on your sleigh ‘round the world,
Lavishing toys and goodwill on boys and girls.
Barbies for Barbaras, G.I. Joes for the Victors.
Please don’t forget that we want those damn pictures.

Oh my goodness, we’re so sorry to curse.
Wedding plans make us crazy, we’ve never been worse.
Please forgive us dear Santa, we love you the most.
And we’re sure Mrs. Claus makes an excellent host.

On this fine wintry day, may you grant us our wish.
A bowl of thin gruel and a bucket of fish.
No wait, that’s not right! We love Joseph Pessar!
If we can’t have his photos, could we have a new car?

Merry Christmas Santa!


Jaimi and Scott

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1 comment:

SPG said...

Well done!