Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Not Quite Ready For Some Football

The NFL season is upon us. It's official. I’m not joking. It's really here.

It seems like just yesterday that we were celebrating LaDainian Tomlinson’s speed, Tom Brady’s chin dimple, and Michael Strahan’s strength (and child support payments).

Well….they’re back - except for Strahan.

And I feel a bit unprepared.

Fantasy football draft preparation is one thing. You can read up on the latest injury news, analysis of the pre-season position battles, rookie forecasts, and all the rest. That’s the easy part. With just a few 12-hour days of focused study, you can easily get yourself ready for the draft.

But what about the real-world NFL season? It’s a grueling 17 week journey. Sunday in, and Sunday out for 4 straight months. 1pm to 11pm every week.

And don’t dare forget about the Monday night games, and those strange and confusing late-season Wednesday, Thursday, Friday night games on that unavailable cable station. Then they’ll throw in one or two Saturday games just to make sure your entire weekend is booked.

You’ll have to watch them all - not out of necessity, but because any football game is the ultimate excuse to drink beer during the day. It cannot be frowned upon by even the most draconian teetotalers in your social circle.

You will drink your beer, and they will just have to deal with it. End of story.

But NFL season is also the time when men join other men in each other’s apartments to watch sweaty, well-muscled men in tight pants chase each other all over the playing field. And then they grapple. And then they tackle. And then they roll around on the ground for a while.

It's physically and emotionally draining. 17 straight weeks of drinking and watching, watching and drinking. Beer and touchdowns. Beer and interceptions. Beer and cheerleaders. Beer and John Madden.

It's exhausting. I think I need my own preseason preparation. I'm not in game shape just yet. I need to train as hard as possible over the next 8 days to get ready for the season opener next Thursday.

I believe I can do it. I can overcome adversity - just like Bengals receiver Chris Henry has overcome being kicked off the team, several trips to jail, multiple league suspensions, and the urge to bring his gun to the stadium each and every game day, only to be asked back by the team to play again this season.

Go Bengals!! That's what I call integrity.

Anyway, bottom line:

The NFL season is a time to drink beer during the day and watch men pummel each other into oblivion on every single play. It's the best time of year. Get yourself ready.

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Anonymous said...

Awesome post Mill! I just blasted your link and the post itself to all my buddy's in my Fant League.
I couldn't agree with you more, it's the best time of the year and your words have inspired me to drink more beer this season. A couple questions though.. What's your ideal brew for the 1:00pm games and should that beer differ from the 4:00pm's (lite beer earlier, heady beer later)?
Sunday Night/Monday night-what time would you suggest pulling the ripcord on boozing inorder to salvage a somewhat productive following day?

The Mill said...

Thanks bro.

I just try to spread the truth.

I think you drink a heavier beer, like an imperial stout or double IPA for the 1 PM games, and then back off and rehydrate with pilsners and light lagers for the later games.