Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Cool Baby Names

I'm an individual. I like to do my own thing. Stand out from the crowd. Put ketchup on my waffles, and blueberries on my eggs, just because I can. And cain't nobody tell me otherwise. So when it comes to naming my firstborn, you bet I'll be taking a different tack than most.

Standard, run-of-the-mill names are fine. I have nothing against Samuels, Davids, Lisas, or Gertrudes. But it gets confusing having all these kids running around with the same names. Taylor, Cody, Skye, and George. They're everywhere. Don't you want your child to be a stand-out in life from the beginning? I sure do. So how do you choose an appropriate, yet cool, yet also unique, yet easy to remember name for your child? It's simple. Name the kid after your favorite stuff. And how do you minimize the mental trauma and emotional anguish to be suffered by your child as he or she grows up with such a crazy name? For that, I have no answer. Just cross your fingers I guess. But rest assured that by naming your child after things you really, really like, you'll be certain to love that child more than any of your subsequent commonly-named children.

Here are a few representative examples of my potential baby names, for additional clarity:

  • Starbuck Iphone Rathmill
  • Flatscreen Baseball Rathmill
  • Puppy Bacon Rathmill
  • Guinness Beefpie Rathmill
  • Cheezwhiz Waterslide Rathmill
  • Laser Mojito Rathmill

And so on, and so forth. Ad infinitum, really. It's diffcult to choose the perfect name with this method. They're all great choices. Many of them make my mouth water, whereas others just sound totally cool and kickass. Check out this week's poll, and help me decide.


1 comment:

JG said...

Why don't you just change your own name while you're at it? Scott Edwin is rather dull.