Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Mill's World-famous Hot Dog Casserole

One in a series of fine dining suggestions, for those who prefer to prepare their own fancy feasts.


48 hot dogs (pork, natural casings)
96 oz. full-fat mayonnaise
Two 16-oz. bags Nacho Cheese Doritos
Two 16-oz. bags Munchos
Two 16-oz. bags Funyuns
1 lb. bacon, cooked and undrained
Margarine or butter, to taste


  • Boil hot dogs according to package directions.
  • Coat bottom of 14" X 10" baking pan liberally with butter or margarine.
  • Spread 1/2" layer of mayonnaise over top of butter or margarine.
  • Arrange 12 hot dogs (unsliced) about 1" apart from one another on top of mayonnaise layer.
  • Spread another layer of mayonnaise (1/2") over hot dogs.
  • Repeat with remaining hot dogs and mayonnaise, finishing with 1/2" layer of mayonnaise.
  • Finely crumble Doritos over final layer of mayonnaise.
  • Repeat crumbling step above with Munchos and Funyuns.
  • Bake in oven at 500 degrees for 6-8 minutes, or until mayonnaise begins to bubble/smolder.
  • Carefully remove from oven and let cool 15 minutes.
  • Completely cover top of casserole with strips of cooked bacon (undrained).
  • Slice into approximately 16 pieces. Serve warm with '98 Barolo or '02 Cabernet Sauvignon.
Temp: 500 degrees
Prep time: 30 minutes
Yield: approximately 16 manly servings.

In case of accidental ingestion of this casserole, you may want to have a few of these handy.

Disclaimer: Please, for your sake and the sake of your loved ones, do not attempt to prepare this dish at home, or anywhere else for that matter. At the very least, do not serve it to anyone you care about. On the other hand, if you happen to be in need of punishment for your enemies' despicable crimes against your family, then this might do the trick. I don't have access to the equipment necessary to determine nutritional value of foodstuffs, but if I did, I think this dish would break the machine. However, if you do decide to try it, please let me know how the mayonnaise reacts to a high temperature oven. Nice and firm, or a sloppy mess?


JG said...

Do you have a vegetarian version?

The Mill said...

No vegetarian version. That would be disgusting.