Let's Bust Some Myths

I don't watch all that much television. Really, I don't. And the shows I do watch are, for the most part, ones that edify my mind in one way or another. For example, "Antiques Roadshow". Great show, and you get to learn about the current market value of various bits of old trash. You never know when that kind of knowledge could come in handy. You might need to trick your Great-Grandmother into giving you that original 1862 Colt revolver autographed by Robert E. Lee. "It's worthless garbage. And besides, you might accidentally shoot yourself," you could tell her. And then sell it on Ebay for thousands.

Another show that nurtures my brain is "Mythbusters". I'm sure you've heard of it, as it is the most awesomest show in the whole world. The idea behind the show (and presumably the inspiration for the title as well) is the busting of myths. They bust those myths wide open. Oh man, those myths get busted like you wouldn't believe. Must feel great to bust a myth or two every so often. And this show lets you vicariously experience that feeling through the two hosts, Adam and Jamie, and their team of sidekicks.

Often times, the myths to be busted are fairly mundane. And sometimes, instead of busting the myth, they actually demonstrate that the myth is possible, or "Plausible" as my Mythbusters t-shirt reads. A few actual examples of myths examined on the show:

• Can you escape a car submerged in water by waiting for it to fill up and then opening the door?

• Can you paint a room by putting a stick of dynamite in a paint can and blowing it up in the middle of the room?

• Can you stop a car traveling at high speed by throwing the gearshift into reverse?

The full list of myths explored is quite extensive. And they answer a great deal of important questions about life, the universe, physics, and what types of situations to avoid, e.g. - painting a room with dynamite. Here are some myths that I'd like to see busted (or found to be plausible) that have as of yet, not made it onto the show:

• Did Moses really part the Red Sea?

• Did Zeus actually give birth to Athena out of his head? If so, how is that possible?

• Does Poseidon cause hurricanes only when he's angry at us for fighting wars against those that worship him, for example the French?

• Do the lightning bolts that Odin shoots out of his hands generate enough heat to scorch wheat fields and ruin the harvest of an ungrateful heathen town?

• Do fresh flower arrangements really live longer in sugar water, as opposed to plain water?
  

Just an artist's rendition, but come on, how'd he REALLY do it.



Lightning? Or is almighty Odin angry with the sinful townspeople?

I'm sure they'll eventually get around to the myths I've listed above. But until then, and in the spirit of "Mythbusters", I'll be starting a new feature on this site entitled "Millbusters". The hope and dream is that I will be thoroughly busting, or demonstrating the feasibility of, all kinds of wacky-ass shit. Don't worry though. This blog will continue to lack any sort of real theme.